My Thoughts On A Healthy Relationship…

I’ll be honest – the quality of my life depends on the quality of my relationships. When my relationships are thriving – I’m thriving. It’s not like I have problems with my family or friends – but I always feel like my life is better – when my relationships feel real, raw and honest.

One thing I notice as I navigate through life is that it doesn’t come as effortlessly or seamlessly for everyone. I wish everyone could understand how beautiful life could be when you’re surrounded by people who unconditionally love, support and make an effort to understand you.

The one thing I haven’t experienced is a romantic relationship that is as healthy as the one I’m in now. I don’t want nazar of course, but I want the women who turn to me to get an insight into what it feels like to be in a union that not only makes you feel loved, appreciated and wanted but one that inspires you to evolve, be content and add (not take away) to your peace.

I grew up in a loving home. I had parents and elders who expressed and showed affection and love. I see my sisters in law be amazing wives to my brothers and although I didn’t feel any voids from being alone, I always wanted to give Raaya an example of a healthy relationship so that one day, should she decide to seek a partner – it would be one that treated her like my dad did my mom.

Connecting with someone at this age, is interesting. If you’re both emotionally intelligent enough, you come together knowing what you want out of life and how to get there. You work together to align those aspirations and are committed to achieving the life you have set out for yourselves. There are no games, you both make an effort to communicate, and your priority is making sure your relationship remains a safe space for the both of you.

I love loving on my family. I love supporting them. Seeing them happy makes me so bloody happy – I can’t explain it. I genuinely feel my family feels the same way about me so reciprocating feels natural. Sharing that with a partner – feels like the ultimate win. Alhumdullilah.

Sharing your day or your problems with someone who is as invested in you as you are yourself is refreshing. It makes you feel secure when they pose solutions to your issues and even better when they attempt to pro-actively solve anything that may be a trial for you. I’ve always been an independent woman and prided myself on seeking resolution on my own. But being able to let go allows me to be so many things I haven’t always had an opportunity to be. I feel like I’m a calmer mother because I can share my load. I can communicate more effectively because there is so much trust between us. I’m able to really step into my soft feminine era because feeling taken care of emotionally is another level of stability that you will only understand when you experience it, alhumdullilah. Whether that be from a family member, friend, or a partner – it’s truly a freeing feeling.

I’ve become a commitment phobe as of more recent. I don’t know if it’s a phobia but it’s definitely a level of comfort I sank into after being alone all these years. It was an adjustment trying to share my life with someone. But when you have someone on the other end who takes the time to understand and comprehend your background so they can empathize with why you are the way you are or be forgiving of your flaws – it motivates you to become better. I’ve never experienced that before – I’ll be honest. I’ve truly only wanted to improve as a person for my child. Now – I want to control my tongue or be selfless in my actions. I’ve totally spent my days in the most selfish manners but now I think about a different kind of bigger picture. Your girl never thought she’d get here.

Those are just a few things that come to the top of my head when I think about healthy relationships. This post isn’t the most well written or thought out. But i just wanted to spew what came to the top of my mind to a) document for myself how I feel in this current point of my life & b)to remind my readers how positive relationships can alter your life.